roar blah blah

i just seem to feel lately that i will soon be looking up or down and not know if im in the middle.

i know that at the state of things all of the happening can e told and figured out and explained and understood.

advice is only taken in a way of conversation than actual thankful appreciative help.

i stay up late at night not because im not tired but because i cant seem to think sleeping is the more comfortable thing.

watching television and movies is more relaxing than dreaming or laying alone in a large mattress that is covered with sheets that don't reflect any part of me.

daily routines are lost, but i know i am not the only one.

overly converting the ideas of current situations is only confidently extorted by squeezing eyes so tight you get a headache at your temples.

i wish that there was a weightlessness in my future.

if one was in my stomach i'm sure they would be as sick as i am of what is in there.

nyc soy dog

i haven't written in here for months.
i just finished devouring a soy dog nyc style for better burger.
the veggie chili i ordered i could not finish.

i just want to puke.
not because of a bad lunch settling, my lunch was quite good.

but i think you knew that.

cupcake and chipotle

trying to take a shower when your in need of hot water and there is none available is quite the task. 

bought a cupcake from that bakery i have stared at since i've moved in. got it on my way home from work. also picked up chipotle.

watched movie that was borrowed. 

talked to california. 

once together again there will be tears of joy. 

today was my day back to the real job. 

fake bubbles that are now perceived as real are not for me. 

enjoyment

the enjoyment of this week of difference compared to the bubble that i have made for myself in nyc, is not going over well.

although what was thought to be a positive new opportunity to experience what has lead many to drop pounds as well as dollars. the creation is what is my main interest. the afterthought that society brings is unfortunate. for a piece of artwork in garment form should not distill such outcome. 

this is why i am counting down the days.

headaches and ruffles

there is nothing else left to do but wait, i have been in this bubble that has been made and cared for. is it time for it to pop? i feel that in order for myself to step outside of what has made me, another must needle my fragile structure.

there is a hamster named anna, she is grey and lovely. she cleans herself obsessively to make a good impression on others. 

flowering tea is relaxing.

convenience can be structured in a way that surfaces destruction.

ruffle chips can be held for ransom. 

headaches have occurred, reformatting my system is needed.

irritability has taken over from moments of suffering and recollection of the past.

others look conveniently away, for who wants to see destruction surface.